What to wear to your photo shoot: Family Edition
It is a question that is asked often, what should we wear to our shoot? My answer is always wear whatever makes you feel like you and that you are comfortable in… but I do get that people might like a little bit more of an answer to that question… so here are my “rules” and thoughts on what you should wear at your photo session….
Shop in your own closet.
I know, I know you have nothing to wear... I get it, I was a 16 year old girl once too... haha and believe me I have uttered those words a few too many times in my adult life as well. But really shop in your own closet. You want to pick something that looks like you and that your family says, ‘oh yeah that’s you,’ or when they look back at photos years from now they say “YES!!! Do you remember that shirt mom used to wear! Ugh it was the best!” From my own childhood I remember this fabulous pair of leggings my mom used to wear that were cow print and she’d throw on a big sweatshirt to go with ‘em. They were her “house clothes” the ones she put on after working all day, the ones I saw her in. I have vivid memories of her in those leggings washing dishes at the sink. What I don’t have is a picture of it.
Now I know what you are thinking, who wants to take photographs in their ‘house clothes’? (Or maybe you’re thinking what in the heck are cow leggings, maaaaaybe they were just black leggings with oversized white polka dots on them, hey, I was a kid!) Truthfully, my mom has always been top notch in the fashion department, a gene that very clearly skipped me. But yes I get that, you don’t want to wear your house clothes at your session. My point is, wear something that you own and that when people see you in that outfit they are like “yup, that’s so ________ (insert name)”
backwards hat and my oversized Van Halen shirt from my high school days shopping at Urban Outfitter. Pretty sure it is one of the things that my children will remember me in.
I get the feeling of wanting something new, fresh, trendy, or the hot new thing the influencers have found for us, but I’m going to suggest to hold off on the purchase, but if you just can’t, there are some (2) exceptions....
if it is an accessory to jazz up something you already have, go for it
if you buy it far in advance and get some good wear out of it before photos happen
Wear what makes you comfortable, same goes with your partner and kids.
Ok so back to the cow leggings... (by the way she never would have picked those for a photo shoot) be comfortable in what you’re wearing. Let it be something you can move in, groove in, that your kids will approve in....(if you’re feeling super bold, let the kids help pick your outfit. It’s always fun to see what my 4 year old fashionisto chooses for me.) It should be something that you can get up and down from the ground in, something your kids think is snuggly, something that doesn’t make you hyper self-aware of your post children body. I’m not saying sloppy or sweat pants (although I’ve been known to sport those during my fam shoots as well, see below) just something that helps you feel confident, isn't super stiff and not something you’re going to tug at or even notice during our time together.
Same goes for your kids and partner, don’t buy them something new and stiff... no no, pick from what they have that makes them feel good. Have them try the outfit on in advance, ask them how they feel, make sure they can move and if the kid ends up rolling in the dirt, you won’t be stressing about how to get the stain out. LET THEM BE KIDS, act silly, and enjoy the session. Believe me, that joy and fun is will make future sessions possible. ALSO, it’s always been more successful with my husband to let him choose or to lay out 3 things that I think are “so him” and let him pick which feels best. Which in my hubbies world is some variation of a white shirt and jeans and whatever hat is his favorite at the time... am I over the moon that he’s always in white and jeans, meh.... but it’s what he wears 75% of the time anyway. When I look at pictures and that’s what he’s wearing it warms my whole body because it is exactly what he looks like and the photo becomes LESS ABOUT what he’s WEARING and MORE ABOUT what he’s DOING... and the emotion and feeling of the moment captured in the photos...
White shirt and jeans…<3 just like I would predict, predictability is comforting. Think about it…
Let your kids choose something.
This is for those mamas (and dads) who are holding on for dear life just trying to survive the 3s and 4s... if you are there you know what I mean... if you aren’t there hold on tight, may you have the strength of a warrior, the world’s most caffeinated coffee, and lots of candy for when they finally go to sleep. AND for those parents of the tween years where they pretty much act the same as a 3-4 year old.
I have always had better cooperation when I let my little fashionisto choose. I’m not talking his full outfit, you are still the adult don’t forget that, but choose a small part. His shoes, a hat, the necklace he made at the gym daycare... some accessory that they love but can easily be removed for a few photos if necessary for your “feed” haha. I actually love those little additions in our photos because it brings me right back to his quirky personality and the things that were so important to that little magical being during that time of his life.
His pride and joy YMCA necklace with all of his letters in the wrong order… 30 minutes after this photo the necklace broke and all of the perfectly placed beads went bouncing down the sidewalk at the ice cream shop… going to be honest I am happy we captured it… oh and both boys are holding matchbox cars… those and little dinosaurs frequent most of our family pics.
You went shopping.
Ok, so you decided my suggestion of shopping your closet wasn’t for you, and you have picked to wear something new, that’s fine, these are your photos, but here are a few suggestions....
Pick an outfit from your closet and your new outfit. Ask for have a quick change mid session, but make it that, a quick one, avoid fussing with your hair/make up, just throw it on so not to waste family time. When you get your pictures back I promise you will like both outfits for different reasons.
If you did buy something, wear the outfit a few times before the shoot. Make sure that you do feel really good in it. Make sure it gets a little worn in, softer, molds a bit more to your curves and shape. Take notice if you can play in it, move around, snuggle. Find something that doesn’t have to lay perfect one way for you to like what you look like in it. You will be fixated the whole time on what you look like and won’t be natural and loose and will avoid playing on the ground or sitting in the grass. Believe me I’ve seen it.
Don’t spend a lot of money on this new outfit. You will worry about the outfit and not be present... guilty of this!!! Spit up ALLLLLL down my new trendy (more expensive than I’d like to admit) jumpsuit... 5 minutes into the session... and I’ll be honest my reaction was not to laugh it off which would have made for great real photos, because I was thinking of the money I spent on it. Had it been clothes from my closet, I probably would have laughed and said “mom-life” and grabbed another shirt from my drawer.
But, you still didn’t tell us what to wear.
Ok you’re lost and want a plain ‘dos and don’ts’ list. I get that, I have my own family members who want that too haha... first off, each family is different and each photographer is different but here are some things that work for me and my storytelling style of photography....
Mix patterns and textures
Coordinate, don’t match (gone are the days where everyone wears khaki and white)
Choose 3-4 different colors and mix and match the family within those
Stay away from all black
Stay away from large graphics and writing
No neon (sorry tweens) unless it’s a theme and you’re all doing neon and then I say rock on 1990s!!
Heck yes to accessories if they are “YOU” like my family and hats, at least 1 of us is always wearing one in real life so it makes sense
Have fun with it and be you
Be comfortable in what you’re wearing
NOW FORGET WHAT YOU JUST READ and TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You know your family, you know what works. This is all merely a suggestion. Show up to your session feeling like YOU and ready to have fun. Here is the big secret to looking good during your shoot… ITS NOT ABOUT WHAT YOU WEAR, ITS ALL ABOUT HOW YOU FEEL!!! In your skin, in your clothes, with each other, and how you feel when you look back at the pictures for years to come. FEELINGS. that is what the whole darn family session is about.
Probably the most “comfortable” outfit worn during a photo shoot… but if this doesn’t look like real life exhausted mom of two … I don’t know what does.. my face probably looks better with the puffy trolls stickers than the wrinkles and bags for not sleeping in days during Arch’s newborn phase haha. Thanks for the help Gus!